Reshared post from +Paul Frields
The bit that gave me the lulz is the "upgrade" of try/catch/die to would_you_mind/actually_i_do_mind/cheerio.
If PHP Were British – Added Bytes by Dave Child
If PHP Were British. When Rasmus Lerdorf first put PHP together, he – quite sensibly, despite his heritage – chose not to write it in Greenlandic or Danish. Good job too – that would have been rather …